I know this…

Applied Ballardianism: A Theory of Nothing

Excerpt from Applied Ballardianism: A Theory of Nothing

I travelled around the northern towns for a few days. When I reached Morioka, I visited an izakaya. There, I met a Japanese man who told me I looked out of place.

‘What do you mean?’ I said. ‘Because I’m Australian?’ (I’d barely seen any other Westerners in Japan’s ‘deep north’).

‘No, because you are lost.’

He meant spiritually lost. And by spiritually, he wasn’t referring to God.

‘You have lost your bearings in time and space. You will be dead by age 40, if not careful. Heart attack or something else.’

I asked him how he knew this, and he said he was telepathic. He came over to talk to me because in my mind I’d asked him to.

‘I don’t understand…’

‘It’s OK. You have interest in magic, in other life; I know this. You have told me in your mind. Well, let me help you realise potential. I can call UFOs at will—let me show you.’

He sat stock still for five minutes, his face a stone mask. He looked completely normal, wearing a denim shirt and blow-waved hair, yet he radiated a powerful charisma.

‘Look outside.’